Monday, July 10, 2006

The Robot's Exhibition, part 2

The sun made the other stars jealous. This jealousy started a fad in the stellar galaxy. Stars used their light to beam aboard certain anatomical features for their luminescence. Alpha Centauri, the closest star to the Earth, took my best friend's nose. Now we got a bunch of human body parts as large as the world a hundred times over sneezing, winking, and farting at us. I liked the light and I liked the heat, but that's all the stars should have. This new consciousness of stellar life and their jealousy to be human makes the universe a bit unrealistic.

Who's to say what's real? asks a fictional philosopher. A cardboard scientist made by semi-real scientists was programmed to define real. And so it did: "Real is the perception of all unimagined things." Only a thing that can't image can say that. Way to go semi-real scientists!

"Let's paint the moon blood red," said the Revelationaries, a cult that encourages the second coming of Christ and the threat of the Antichrist. They program wars and stir natural disasters as if they were a government agency. The United States, encourager of competition, hated this competition with their war and natural disaster agencies, so they tried to dissolve the Revelationaries by exposing untrue but very treacherous things about them. That's how the Revelationary War started and God intervened and how we've got Armageddon.

A piece of cloth without a tag ripped the juice of an instinctual delegate. Just as vitreous minstrel pinchers vouch their way to righteous positions, so will umbrella fiends find you in their self-perpetuated rain. A handout was specifically made for the enjoyment of gasoline electricians. To my dismay and your delight, the frock-wearing Ecclesiaste poured an empty glass of milk onto his own contents.

Back to the story, the castle captured a dragon princess. Luckily the prince of planets knew of this predicament. Hurriedly he did something. Weirdly he always does something where an adverb sets off his sentences. Actually they're the author's adverbs and not the prince of planets'.

Let's see where were we...Ah! Hurriedly he rushed off to the castle, the castle with no name, the castle that is not capitalized because there should be emphasis placed on the castle that captured the dragon princess. Easily the dragon princess was saved from the clutches of the stupid castle. Stupid castles were all made by the hillbillies of the Ural Mountains. Were they European or Asian? Nobody knew, not even them. That's why castles they built were so stupid.

A restaurant in northern California was called the Stupid Castle and a lot of bewildered Russians ate there, but it was nothing like home, so the place closed down and the entire town starved to death.
The United States should blow up the Ural Mountains because it makes sense to do so. Todoso should be someone's name. You should change your name to Todoso because it ended the first sentence of this paragraph. If your last name were Fulton, you would be Todoso Fulton. Doesn't that sound like the best name you could possibly have? Even if your last name isn't Fulton, just indulge in the thought of having the name Todoso. Doesn't it make your viscera curdle?

A badger with nail polish on its claws died of curdled viscera. I saw this because it's a popular joke among Wisconsinites. Wisconsin being the Badger State and America's Dairyland and all. Some people confuse our animal with our food. Wisconsin does have carnivorous citizens you know. There's nothing more irritating than an antagonizing non-Wisconsinite. Stop it!

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