New Japanese Planets

Radio House Kingdom
in connection with…
The National Telescopic Astronomy Administration
funded by NHK and NTT
have jointly discovered 14 new planets outside our Japanese solar system

Planet One is New Tokyo with the highest real estate in the universe
Planet Two is The Planet that Says Ni! Because Ni means Two in Japanese
Planet Three was lost when Okabe-san bumped into the telescope
(it will soon be located under ExxonMobil funding though,
so please visit their homepage at www.killearth.com)
Planet Four is already inhabited by dogs. We’re waiting for a suitable name for that planet.
Planet Five was claimed by Pink Floyd and David Bowie to hold their new recording studio
Planet Six is so close to Planet Seven that we don’t know which is which
Planet Six will be the only planet in which racism will be encouraged
Planet Seven is where Earth will store all its toxic waste
Planet Eight is TOP SECRET c/o US GOVERNMENT
Planet Nine is Hubbell II: The Telesphere
Planet Ten actually is Pluto (we made a mistake)
Planet Eleven is completely made of gold and was found to have the Microsoft logo on it
Planet Twelve is for Japanese tourists only for authenticity’s sake
Planet Thirteen has been deemed Satan’s Lair of Doom by the Roman Catholic Church
Planet Fourteen is the last planet found so we don’t have enough information on it yet