Is it dada?

Admission!

This dinosaur of a champion has a time-honored bone eater to replace his can. Every fifth invention receives bigger bonuses due to the inflation we see fit to grow faster and quicker. Roses have grown in your honor and we know why. It’s how the runners stop in time to feed the grass. Right now, someone can hear another one chopping an onion. Chop! Chop! It doesn’t take much to imagine someone’s eyes watering from the seething edges of a freshly cut onion. I myself prefer the leek, that underrated vegetable growing so nearby.

I had asked for your attention prior, but apparently you had lent it to a flea-bitten mutt. Dogs have too much of everyone’s attention anyway. I find them disturbing my peaceful sleep and dirtying my neighbor’s lawn. Your attention had been asked by me for reasons unknown to you and most of the royal court. Now it is time for me to uncover that reason in a poem.

Slither, slither, a snail in a snake
Just how long to the tail will it take?

Yes, misters. I’ve witnessed a snake devour a whole snail, but this was no ordinary situation. You see, I wasn’t in my garden or any garden FOR THAT MATTER. The snake had somehow acquired bipedal locomotion (don’t ask me how) and went into a French Restaurant. That bizarre scene caused me too to become a connoisseur of that very restaurant. The snake orders a plate of snail…one snail…just one snail. And I must add that the gastropod was still living and breathing when the snake gormandized it. The Gormandized Gastropod: oh, how I say what a riot it was. Just then I started worrying about the poor snail and how he would meet his end.

Thank for your persnicketiness! And watch out for the wicked for they shall pick at your bones.


Artlessly,

Margrave Rachel Sedgewick