South American Rebel Soldiers

I thought SARS was a disease, but I was wrong. It turns out to be this group of Anti-USAmerican guerrilas living in the Amazon.

SARS is also a rating for restaurants--Satisfactory to Average Restaurant Service.

Nobody talks about SARS any more.

"Now the Avian Flu Virus is making people panic,
and the media conglomerates rich.
I don't think it's making me sleepy or queasy,
it's just making my eyelids itch." - a spontaneous poem for you

Don’t laminate my lemonade, baby. Oh, no. don’t you dare try to steal my refreshing drink in airtight plastic wrap. I’ll be tempted to come at you with a new bar of soap if you laminate my lemonade. So you’d better think even more differently than your last thoughts like a hunter in the rain made for another month.

You are experiencing technical difficultness.

The Year was 2170, and a man from 1997 decided to work then. He called up the future through his mysterious wireless telephone. The conversation went like this.

“The year 2170. May I help you?”
“Yes, I’m calling from 1997, and I would like to work in 2170.”
“Do you have any experience working in the future?”
“Well, I work now and I was born in 1973.”
“Your sort of humor won’t crack any smiles in 2170.”
“Are you saying that the future is humorless?”
“Infer nothing. One of the greatest crimes of the 22nd Century is inferring statements from future employers.”
“What’s the penalty?”
“being replaced by an automaton.”
“Do you mean a robot?”
“What else would an automaton be?”
“Can we get back to the interview?”
“Sure. What experience do you have working in the future?”
“In 1993, I had an internship in 2576.”
“How did you get an internship that far in the future?”
“Nepotism.”
“Who’s your connection?”
“Dr. Sears.”
“Isn’t there a retail corporation by that name in your time?”
“Yes, that’s right. You know your history.”
“We don’t know anyone by the name of Dr. Sears in 2170.”
“I don’t expect you to. His connections are all beyond the 23rd century.”
“So what interests you in 2071?”
“I’ve heard that babysitting is the biggest industry that year. Isn’t it bringing in quadrillions of Euros every month?”
“That’s right. Are you qualified to be a babysitter?”
“I’ve had 5 years experience babysitting my neighbor’s children.”
“Are you registered?”
“We don’t register babysitters in 1997.”
“In some areas in your time, some babysitters do have to be registered.”
“Then my answer is no. Can I get registered in 1997 or do I have to get registered in 2170?”

Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of CALL TO THE FUTURE.
Now it's time for ridiculing the ridiculous Europeans.

As an American, I love to mock those “old world” Europeans. Putting them in pigeonholes is so amusing.
Britons are snobby.
Frenchies are froggy.
Spaniards are snappy.
Germans are strappy.
Russians are hoity-toity
Dutch are diggety-dog.
Romanians are slickety-slack.
Irish are neernorn-ploft.
Greeks are plain glubbity.

This is not a blog. It is a pinata without the tilda.
Pinata o pinata
You are the tarantula in my bowl of accessories
Finding the time is so meaningless to you
Pinata o pinata
People drum their noses to your harmonies
Finally grasping the tune of your strings
Pinata o pinata
God has posted lovers along his boulevards
But they only came to life when they set their eyes on you
Pinata o pinata
Has the world really spun around so quickly?
It's time to sew hats and make haste

This has been a pinata.