My Mystical Experience

It occurred in October of 2004. I was sitting on the floor of our home in Seoul, Korea and putting together a reflective play list of music. With only four songs into this play list, I was overtaken by a certain thought and a certain a mood. I got a certain glimpse into life after death--I no longer feared it. I understood for that moment that life is infinite.

I have had these thoughts before, but this feeling was exceptionally strong. And this was the first time I ever heard a voice telling me to write it down this time. This brought me closer to understanding Mohammed and his calling to write the Qur'an. But I wasn't thinking about Islam or any other religion, I was enjoying this peaceful ride of thought. It's something I always look back to and cherish that it is within me.

For about 90 minutes, my hand was writing non-stop the thoughts that were pouring out of my head. The writing stopped when my usual everyday awareness and logic overtook the quiet peaceful glimpse into whatever it was. When I had these experiences before, it was my logic that would always silence this mystic experience. I learned to suspend my skeptical logic and let the idea flow. 90 minutes was the longest I was able to do this--and I now I have a written record of it.

With this information, I sought out the religion that most closely resembled that stream of consciousness. I briefly researched world religions and came upon Taoism. For the next couple of years, I read Taoist texts and found that they expressed what I experienced better than my own writing.

It wasn't until recently that I realized that my experience was a mystical one, not just focused on Taoism. But I believe it would be too pompous to declare myself a mystic. For one, I'm not completely leading the life of my experience. I'm enjoying my current life and am afraid to abandon it for mysticism. So I hold on to both mysticism and nihilism to keep me who I am today. Once I let go of one, I will be a changed man.

Not yet ready for a change of that sort.

What ever happened to that play list?
I've made it into a CD, but it never recreated the mystical experience. It helps me reflect on that experience though.